Birthday Nausea

So I'm just over 6 weeks. I've had some nausea off and on for the last week or so, but today it seems to be getting more severe and more frequent. I'm ok with that. Today's my 23rd birthday, and I kind of hope I throw up. Weird, but I never threw up with my first pregnancy. Never had much nausea in the first one, either, so... I'm praying so hard that things are different this time.

I'm having this odd disconnect sort of thing. I'm subscribed to BabyCenter's week-by-week pregnancy update thing. I got my first email today, but I'm really afraid to open it and read what's going on developmentally with Sea Monkey. With my first pregnancy, I was so eager to open each and every email, and I'd read it 3 or 4 times a week, relishing what should have been going on. That all came crashing down on me, and I feel like I need to do things differently this time. Like maybe if I don't read the emails, I'll get to keep this baby. Maybe if I don't announce it on facebook, Sea Monkey will stay with us. And it goes on. I know there's nothing I can do, and it doesn't really make sense, but that doesn't stop my scared-self from trying to do everything differently this time, and pray for a different and better result.

I'm madly in love with Sea Monkey already. Zach bought Sea Monkey's first stuffed animal yesterday. It's a little teddy bear with a green bow around its neck with "My First Bear" written on its stomach. He went into WalMart last night while I was waiting in the car (the battery died due to cold yesterday morning; I stayed so we wouldn't have to worry about jumping it) and presented it to me when he got in the car- I totally cried when I saw the "My First Bear." I put it on my nightstand, where I can see it before I go to bed and when I wake up. It's really cute. Here's a picture.